You are not perfect and so is your partner but you reach a point in your life where you want to be a better version of yourself. You go all out in achieving this goal by reading books, listening to messages, registering for courses, attending seminars and the list is endless.
You then go into marriage believing you can be able to fix whatever flaw is present in your spouse but this sadly rarely happens.
With the same drive and passion with which you were able to achieve results in your life, you begin to drive your spouse and when your efforts constantly hit a brick wall and are not yielding desired results, you conclude your partner is being adamant and not ready to change.
Let’s go back in time to when your spouse was a young child. He/She grew up with a different believe system, different set of family values, a completely different way of getting things done from what you’re used to. You both individually grew up in different environments with different cultural backgrounds to mention a few.
This has been your partner’s way of life before you took your vows at the altar and commenced on a journey to forever.
The first year of marriage was blissful as you accommodated each others differences and took nothing to heart. As the years rolled by, the “true color” of your partner begins to show and you wonder if you had married the wrong person. You keep asking yourself how you got into the marriage in the first place. You wake up everyday regretting you ever married and wishing you could go back in time and undo your marriage.
This often times is the tale and experience of couples in the early years of marriage. but as the years roll by and significant differences show clearly, it is not the time to start regretting and wishing you never married your spouse, rather, it is a call to action on your part to be patient enough with your spouse until desired results are achieved and they become a better version of themselves as well. Remember, Rome was not built in a day. It took years of hard work and sweat. The grass may be greener on the other side but it takes the daily effort of a gardener to achieve the visible results.
Little children will even question why you want them to do something not to talk of adults that years of practicing a particular habit has been ingrained into the fabric of their life.
If you desire to see your spouse make significant changes in their lives, can you give them time to understand why this major change has to effected and have a mindset re-orientation.
Remember, we’re all work in progress and ultimately want to be like CHRIST. Don’t guilt trap your spouse into being what you desire them to be, else they become robots. Rather, lovingly with the help of the HOLY SPIRIT nurture them into ultimately becoming like CHRIST.
With time the desired significant changes will begin to manifest in your spouse and the years of lovingly nurturing your marriage and being patient with your spouse will finally pay off.
